No controle, there just nummers on the screen.

Pfff Im feeling so unsatisfied playing poker at the moment, and run so horrible. Im just tilting it away and when I risk it all I get freaking lucky by playing 26us 35K rebuy tourny, and made it to 15 spot (I had a massive 1/2 chiplead when tables diveded in two and got unlucky but the other move I made was so bad) So just a 225 us credit to my account (place 1 recieved 8500 US, 2. 5400 3. 4400 4. 2988) So I totaly messed up.

With the other money still left I played a 55us sng. was total domenating the table and there where 4 players there that should not play poker at all, luckly for me. With a 11K stake I was abble to give them all to the winnar, bad heads up play and to way to tired to play anyway, brought me back to a bankroll of 375 US.

I started bad again yesterday, full tilts freaking hates me! And I tilt 5 buy ins unnecessary away with hands like 52o. Then when I took a break and came back with a fresh mind I killed it and managed to make a nice profit and see my bankroll grow to 455 US. But freaking pokertablerankings did not track that session:(

Today I'm wondering arround how to build my bankroll. I use since 3 days holdem manager and I can see Im leaking to much money on the BB Quit massive to be honnest with 3 times TT en one time AK, but offcourse I loose them all So I think I should lower my 3 bets in that spot and just fold TT from now on, horrible hand!

Im to tired to play but cant resist to play one table 50NL with a buy in of 11 US. Im getting 99 at the button, preflop raise it get called, hit my set on the flop and got beated by runner runner flush. After a few more suckouts, im moving up to the 100NL game and loose two buy ins within 2 min, or so.

I never played higher then 1/2, 200NL. But im so freaking annoyed for all the crap full tilt is putting me through, or atleast convinsed myself holding that though to be true.
However im not that bad off with still a bankroll of 371 US, but there I am playing with a 80 dollar buy in at a 2/4, 400NL table and it took 5 hands, to first double it and then double the double. leaving the table with 608 US in my bankroll.

But hell im such a donk, such a fish with no discipline and major tilting issues! Im not happy the way I play, but starting with just 20 US deposit last thursday, there isn't much to risk and it has been a hell of a roller coaster. I need structure and good BRM!!